Sunday, June 21, 2009

Iraqi Cities Poised For Withdrawl Of U.S. Troops

*Special International Sunday Edition
By The Yapper
Editor In Chief

BAGHDADIraq's Prime Minister proclaimed this month’s withdrawal of U.S. troops from urban areas as a "big victory" for the nation.

Stopping just short of saying, “Mission Accomplished, Nouri al-Maliki said that Iraqi forces will assume security operations by the end of the month.

When asked how he feels about his unit pulling out of Baghdad, SFC Brandon “Nails” Henderson said that he was please to see some tangible progress in the war on terror.

“It’s about damn time,” said Henderson. “I mean, why the fuck are we here anyway? Fucking Bush.”

Though al-Maliki expects area militants will test Iraqi defenses attacks, he said that won't let his country’s highly trained and compensated security forces turn tail and runaway like they did in 2003.

“This time we’ll be fighting the right people for the right reasons. Fighting our fellow Iraqis is our tradition. I only hope we remember how to do it. You know who we should get to help us out? Saddam Hussein.”

The transition from U.S. to Iraqi forces comes on the heels of a security pact that requires the Americans to commence combat troop reductions in urban areas by June 30, 2009.

The deal includes a provision for Iraqi forces to seek assistance from the U.S. help should violence surge, but places an emphasis of the complete withdrawal of U.S. forces by 2012.

“We are looking forward to the pull out,” said PFC Wyatt Jones, “because I can’t wait to get me some snatch back in Ohio!”