By The Yapper
Editor In Chief
Saipan Fake News scored a major coup this week as negotiations wrapped up with the top reporter from the Middle East.
"We were incredibly fortunate to have signed such an accomplished writer," said The Daily Yapper. "We've been interested in adding Tweaker to our staff ever since Al Jazeera's Shakir & Eshan gave Tweaker the coveted Two Bombs Up" review.
Tweaker comes to SFN fresh from a fact finding mission in the Democratic Republic of North Korea that confirmed Kim Jong Il's regime was planning to launch the body of Michael Jackson into space on its three-stage Taep'o-dong II rocket in an effort to return the former King of Pop to his home planet.
Superior Court Judge David Wiseman presided over the contract signing this afternoon at The Daily Yapper Global Headquarters in Susupe and voiced his approval of SFN's latest staff acquisition.
"This is like the third Christmas we've had so far this year! I can hardly wait to see what Tweaker has to offer my favorite and most reliable news source," said Wiseman. "Hey, if five more writers sign on with Saipan Fake News it'll transcend Christmas and transform into the new Chanukah."