Wednesday, August 5, 2009

GlenD558 comes back to life.

The Twixter
Staff Writer

Holy carabao shit Mr. Baggins ! The dude appears to have returned from the dead solely to dance a jig at the federal courthouse over the smoldering remains of Tim Villagomez.

Glen, or someone staggering in an identical manner, appeared outside the Munson’s courtroom today regaling everyone in sight with his rendition of “Swing Low”. Chanting something about saving our Philippine Peso’s ‘cause Marcos’ gonna rise again, he gloated big time over the seeming downfall of a guy he couldn’t get a contract from. “It wasn’t from lack of trying.” said Glen in a Casperish sort of way. “Its just that we never seemed to agree on terms.”

Meanwhile, as co-reporter and SFN editor in chief pointed out, just where did Glen’s relatives get his blogger password to announce his death via Glen’s own blog last year? Many here believed that Glen was in a far better place all right, like Cebu, livin’ large on $800 a month coming in off his massive Chinese prostitution ring here on Saipan. The recent sighting, so near the newly named Kristo Rye Church gave some observers real pause to think. Thunk they, “Sheeeyt, Dude, was that Glen D or have I been smokin’ too much of that Pagan Cowpaddy?”

Some said that as the apparition slowly faded from view they could hear the familiar refrain :
Rye whisky, rye whisky,
Rye whisky, I cry,
If you don't give me rye whisky,
I surely will die.

Others, perhaps with a little less rye under their own belts said he didn’t fade away at all, he just headed back to the airport to connect with Phillipine Air #111 headed back home to that little grass shack with a miniature putting green out back.

This reporter believes there is just as great a chance for a second coming of Glen as there is for anybody else.

If the ocean was whisky,
And I was a duck,
I'd dive to the bottom
To get one sweet suck.